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| My graduation from Central Michigan University, May 2009 |
It's been a trip, to say the least. Many of the details have already been chronicled here, so I'll spare you a recap. Instead, here are the 11 greatest lessons I've learned since graduation:
1. Open your heart to new people. If it weren't for Facebook, there are only a few people you'd keep in touch with from your co-ed days. As you move around, keep that in mind. Making friends is more challenging now than it was in college, because you won't have the instant camaraderie you did in your dorm or the common ground of wearing the same letters, but the friendships you build post-graduation are just as fulfilling.
2. Find a friend whose work is similar to yours. Preferably, this is someone who isn't in your office (too much conflict of interest), but who has a similar work environment to yours. These are the people who can commiserate with you when a client won't return documents on time, or a colleague throws you under the bus in front of your boss, or you had to work from 6 a.m. to 6 p.m. all last week. Friends whose jobs are totally different from yours will have just as much trouble relating to your frustrations and lending support, as you will have during their moments of struggle.
3. Step up your dating game. Unlike college, and similar to the friend note above, you won't have a built-in baseline with your dates in the Big Kid World. You probably won't have mutual friends, you may not even be Facebook friends yet (limits the stalkability of said date), so you really have to start from square one. Have an arsenal of great date ideas in your back pocket (hint, coffee isn't one of them...) that are active, relaxing and fun -- think a cooking class, visiting a great park or taking a walking tour of a cool neighborhood. Awkward silences are easier to stomach when you're not staring at someone and grasping for a new topic. Also, these dates are memorable and can pretty much guarantee you a second.
4. Forget how you thought your life was supposed to look. Do yourself a favor, and don't tie yourself down to something as fleeting as an idea. You might have imagined your life a certain way, but the universe might have something even better in store for you.
5. Accept help if it's being offered. As a general rule of life, don't always try and be the hero. If you're struggling to make ends meet, and your parents offer to help you out with rent, don't be too proud to say "Ok. Thank you." It feels amazing to do it on your own, but you'll never get there if you don't have a few moments of stability to help you see the light at the end of the tunnel.
6. Make connections. Face-to-face networking is not dead, nor will it ever be. If you're job searching, don't be afraid to go to a seminar or convention for people in the industry you want to work in. People will be impressed with your chutzpah, and you'll stand out because Millennials are notorious for leaving all their networking to the virtual world. The next part of this is to take advantage of every connection you make. If someone is willing to give you advice -- even if it's not the advice you want or maybe need -- take it!!!
7. Step up your wardrobe. The laid back, natural, messy look only works on campus. Find a hairstyle that suits you and plan to keep it maintained. Ladies, experiment with the makeup that makes you look and feel your best. Gentlemen, know how many days you can pull off not shaving. Ditch your graphic Ts and opt for basic V-necks from Gap or Banana -- they're colorful and fun while looking polished. In general, think classic with a few trendy pieces for flare. Finally, it's time to stop running errands in your pajamas.
8. Build a routine. The Big Kid World is exhausting. There's no sleeping in because you don't have class until noon; and no chance to make a judgment call on whether work is worth the effort today. A bed time will be your best friend.
9. Have a plan. In college, flying by the seat of your pants is fun. In the Big Kid World, no one is impressed that you slept all day Saturday. No one is jealous that you are planning to live footloose and fancy free until you're 35. Actually, this repels people. Know what you want to do in 10 minutes, 10 days and 10 years.
10. Give yourself the flexibility to veer off course. Sure, you need the 10-minute, 10-day and 10-year plans, but don't get so caught up in them that you're not able to seize the great opportunities that will inevitably come your way.
11. Listen to your gut and take chances. This is cliche, but it's true. If you're not married and you don't have kids, now is the time to take a few risks. If your heart is telling you to take a job in a new city (ahem, Cincinnati), even though you live in the most amazing city ever (uh, Chicago!) -- then move to Cincinnati! If your heart is saying take the job that sounds boring because the team is amazing (ahem, my current job), even though your dream job (communication coordinator for a state house of representatives) is being offered at the same time -- take the one that sounds boring, but feels right! You don't have anything to lose, and at the end of the day, you may regret impulse decisions or decisions you make because you think (with your head) it's the right one -- but you'll never regret the ones that you make based on that little voice inside that says "This is the right answer...and you know it!!!"
Congratulations to Laura and all her Dayton classmates -- welcome to the Big Kid World!
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| My sister, Laura's, graduation from the University of Dayton, May 2012 |
