Be careful what you wish for.

I left Grand Rapids in a tizzy this morning, ready to get back to Chippewa Lake to finish packing and spend a little time by myself. Bad call.

It's no secret the last couple of months have been tough, and that without reliable cable and cell service, I've been more isolated than an indigenous tribe in the Amazon. In reality, though, Chippewa Lake is my most favorite destination in the whole world...and I wouldn't want to spend my summer anywhere else.

The last few weeks have been unbearably hot and humid, but as I drove around the bend and saw the sun glistening off the water, the most amazing breeze drifted over the lake and brought the smell of Chippewa rushing to my head. Nothing quite compares to the damp, piney fresh smell of the air here, and now with all the windows open, I'm surrounded by the scent that I wish could follow me all the way to Cincinnati.

The truth is, I was never really excited to move back here for a job. I'd been flirting for a long time with the idea of being a reporter, and felt like that move was my first really responsible decision. Chicago had been pretty much a cake walk. I had friends, a stage to karaoke on a couple nights a week and a blow-off job (not the campaign, of course) that paid me a lot of money to hang out with some of the cutest kids in the Midwest. Not bad. So when I accepted the gig in Big Rapids, I thought the pit in my stomach was because I was leaving a place I loved. As it turns out, that was part of it. More than the sadness of leaving, though, was questioning if the decision was the right one.

I feel different about Cincinnati. I am excited. I also feel nervous. I don't know anyone there. It's close to Kentucky. My job is really technical. I passed up another amazing job for this one. I think I sold out by going corporate. I didn't see my friends before I left. I might have forgotten something. I have a car payment. I really have to budget. I have to move all my stuff...again.

This is going to be tough, and up until now, it's all felt surreal.

Since I started my college search about a million years ago, I've craved an adventure. An adventure that would shove me out of my comfort zone and make me fend for myself. While Chicago and Big Rapids held their merits on the adventure scale, this move is a total leap of faith. I only hope that this leap turns out to be the one that helps put me on track.

The lake is perfect tonight. I wish you were here with me to chat, share a glass of wine and look out over the water. In a couple hours, the sun will melt into the trees directly across from my cottage, and the water will turn bright orange and red. It's the perfect time to swim or paddle down the road of light leading from my dock to the sunset. It's fitting, really, to spend the night here. A perfect evening in my favorite place...another little goodbye to home.