This story won't surprise anyone who knows me.

Some people have talents or aptitudes that make them better than others at certain things. I have a couple of those, but more honed, is my knack of attracting weird and sketchy men.

I don’t know what it is about me that says: home wrecker, voyeur, counselor, etc., but it must be a vibe I emit. I just can’t come up with any other logical explanation as to why I attract the real winners.

I thought perhaps spending the last five years going to college on an Indian reservation in the middle of nowhere had something to do with my luck, and that once I made my big move to the big city, the tides would turn.

I’ve been proved wrong a few times already, but an instance on the Addison bus not too long ago really solidifies that I need a new vibe.

As I stood under the Red Line waiting for my bus, I watched people stream out of the train stop as I sipped an espresso and paged through my Red Eye. I wear massive, black sunglasses, ideal for people watching without getting caught. What I did catch, though, was a very good looking man emerging from the station and waiting not far from where I stood.

No matter where I am, I always check ring fingers. It’s the second thing I notice about a man, after his ass…ets. Well, this handsome man was wearing more than a crisp, blue shirt to show off his tan, a platinum ring glistened in the sun, projecting the word “UNAVAILABLE.”

I did an about face and turned toward the street to wait for the bus, when out of nowhere, I felt someone standing a little too close to me. Out of the corner of my eye, I see it’s married man. Luckily the bus pulled up and the line to get on formed. Married guy waited coolly, letting people go in front of him, including myself, before cutting off the rest of the line to stand behind me.

I board quickly and swipe my card. The bus is mostly empty, so I find a spot toward the middle and put my bag on the seat between me and the aisle. Married man settles onto the aisle seat directly across from me.

He has positioned himself awkwardly, sitting sideways in the seat with his legs in the aisle and his left hand dangling over the seat in front of him. He clears his throat in that “I want your attention” kind of way, so I turn and look at him and notice something odd.

There is no ring on his finger.

I raise an eyebrow…which is imperceptible under my shades, and then an interesting conversation takes place:

"Hi, I'm (insert generic, cheater-guy name here)."

"Hi, I'm Candi," I reply, of course, tossing out the fake name I keep on hand.

"Cool. Well, it's turning out to be a pretty nice day,"

"Yeah, finally nice weather."

"Do you have any plans this weekend?" Ah...here it is!

"Uh, not really," Now, as annoying as this guy has become, it's quickly apparent that he is leaving himself open to be called out. "Do you?"

"Ha, no. I was kind of hoping that maybe you and I could do something, though," he looked at me with a smile.

I removed my sunglasses and smiled back. "Oh yeah? Do you think the woman whose ring you were wearing would appreciate us hanging out?"

SILENCE. Then..."Uhh...huh?"

"Am I mistaken or did I not see you get off the L with a ring on your finger?"

I got a cough in response before he tugged the cord signaling it was his stop. As soon as the bus had slowed he was at the door, pushing them open and scurrying the opposite way down Addison.

Oh...my life.