Rollercoaster rides are fun.

Is it really the end of February 2010? Only two short years ago, almost to the day, I made a huge mistake by re-opening contact with my ex-boyfriend. Of course, the outcome was just as bad as everyone expected it to be, but I learned my lesson and have moved on. As a matter of fact, Ally told me the other day she hardly even remembers the dark period in my life that was that relationship…because I’m finally back to being me again. This is a great thing.

A year after that, almost to the day, I went out drinking with my favorite Italian Stallion, Mr. Alex Piazza. I got a little too out of control, resulting in the loss of my clutch in a cab. Inside the clutch? My wallet, debit card and camera. Awesome.

I can’t believe that was only a year ago.

I can’t believe it’s been less than a year since I graduated from CMU, and even less time since I moved to Chicago.

Whoever said life comes at you fast wasn’t kidding. Actually, fast doesn’t even begin to describe it. Life moves at its own ridiculous pace and just offers each one of us the opportunity to tag along. It’s not going to wait, it doesn’t really care what you want and it’s certainly not going to slow down.

I guess it’s that combo that’s so exciting and frustrating all at the same time.

Probably the only thing stranger than life’s own agenda, is how much can be packed into a few short months. I think I lost perspective of how time works while I was in college. The repetitiveness of class, meetings, party…class, meetings, party…made me feel like things moved really slowly. I felt like change, at least for me, was not on the docket.

I couldn’t have been more wrong. Without the security of school, and in an economy like this, nothing is stable. I’ve been in Chicago for eight months—that’s less than an academic year!—and I’ve packed more living in than I did in five years at CMU. (That’s probably my fault, but I didn’t realize that even though life has its own plan, I had the ability to hop on board. As a matter of fact, that probably would have been a lot easier than me trying to control the uncontrollable for as long as I can remember.)  

I’ve given up worrying for Lent. Yup…worrying. As a Sicilian, this is not easy, and even though I try to block the stress, it continues to manifest itself in hives all over my arms and legs, and horrible bouts of heartburn. Still, I do feel better about my life because there are things I now accept I cannot control.

Like the biggest stressor for me…not having a real job.

Sure, I have another nannying gig, and it’s fine, and the family loves me, and I dig the baby. Fine. But I am ready to do something more.

In an ideal world, I’d be able to find a job here in Chicago, keep my apartment, make new friends and let my roots get deep. But you know what? That probably won’t happen. I’ve accepted it, and I’ve started looking for jobs all over the country.

I realize that what I really want to do is report. I love it, and it gives me a high I haven’t felt since I gave up singing classically. Basically, filing a story feels like singing a high D above middle C from the altar in St. Andrew’s Cathedral. To do that, though, I need to go where the jobs are—which there are a few, and they’re all in small-town America.

A few months ago, this realization would have sent me into a tailspin of anxiety, but not anymore. I’m actually having fun applying for the jobs, and I’m looking forward to seeing where it takes me. I’m exciting to discover stories. I’m ready to go.

I’m also ready to go with the flow.

This is my chance…this is my life! It’s all mine and only mine…and even though it’s going to go where it wants, I have the choice to start fighting back again, or let go and just enjoy the ride.

So this is my commitment to myself: I’ll keep my eyes wide open and my hands reached high above my head, because this is my personal roller coaster ride, and I’m not going to miss a single turn. 

A quick trip back to Chicago circa 1939.

Last week, I had the opportunity to meet State Representative Sara Feigenholtz, Feigie, as she is commonly referred to around our office.

I actually recognize her face from a huge banner that hangs at the Addison Red Line stop. Ms. Feigenholtz' district happens to cover my neighborhood, and when I shook her hand, mentioned that I'd seen her banner.

"Where do you live?" she asked.

"Waveland and Halsted...in Boystown," I said.

"Ahhh...the Mecca!"

Yes--Boystown--the Mecca.

I love my little neighborhood, but as you probably know, I make a long trek to the suburbs every day. The thing about Chicago's suburbs is...well, they're breathtaking. Winding through the narrow streets literally turns back the clock almost a century in most instances, taking me far from the Mecca and planting my feet in a simpler, prettier time.

On most mornings, I stop in Wilmette to pick up David and haul him into the office with me. There's a little place I pass called Alchemy Coffee House (www.alchemycoffeehouse.com), that is so nondescript, it kind of blends in. There's no big sign out front, no parking lot...just a little building with a front wall made of all windows.

I've stopped in a couple times for a quick brew, but the other morning, decided to sit for a while.

They only take cash at Alchemy, and the coffee menu isn't extensive, but it's so good. So are the fig pecan scones.

The interior of Alchemy is a nostalgic tribute to old Wilmette. Old jazz wafts through a record machine propped in the corner, and plastic-covered copies of old editions of Wilmette Life are available to leaf through.

In the winter 1949 copy I chose, ads for a dry cleaning company touted protection from evil moths...little flighty creatures dressed in Indian headdresses. An article about Mrs. John Franklin getting a promotion was one of the top articles...though, it never mentions her name. And there are pages and pages of engagement and wedding announcements.

It's not hard to imagine living in the 1950s while perched in the small, sun-drenched Alchemy Coffee House. Across the street, the storefronts look like they haven't been touched since that decade, anyway. Most of the North Shore looks like this, actually, with small downtowns not only meticulously preserved, but appreciated for their originality and warmth.

In the same small town of Wilmette, the local theatre stands as a testament to the North Shore's commitment to its roots. We held an event at the Wilmette Theatre (the Mette, for short) for work last week, and I had the good fortune of going there early to set up.

Just a short jaunt from Alchemy, the Wilmette Theatre's (www.wilmettetheatre.com) marquee boasts names of movies, shows and artists who will appear on one of its two stages.

Needless to say, the venue is teeny, but it has so much character and charisma. I met one of the owners, Carol, and her love for the place just seeps out of her. A photo of the theatre taken in 1939 hangs on the wall, and it's not hard to imagine what it wouldn't have been like to visit the Mette for a film back then...mostly because it seems like nothing's changed.

The one thing I will miss about this job, is the time I get to spend on the North Shore. I'm on the Wilmette Theatre's mailing list, though, so I'm sure I'll be back up that way for a show--or two. That's another beautiful thing about this city and the small towns that sprawl out from it: thanks to trains, nothing is too far away.

Just checkin' in.

It's a sad day in my Chicago world.

The one, the only, Kaitlyn Konarska has moved back to the Mitten for a new job! I'm so excited for her, because I think this will be a great career move...still, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't sad.

The election is on Tuesday...which means I'm almost out of the woods for work! I can't wait to close this chapter and move on with my life. Well, actually, moving on and moving back, I guess. Another nannying job has landed in my lap. This one is for a little baby boy, and it comes at a perfect time. I start next week, and am looking forward to working some normal hours, getting paid more than I do now, and continuing my job search. I'm also going to try to do some freelancing, so that should be pretty fun, too.

There isn't an awful lot going on in my world as of late. Mostly because work has been sucking the life out of me. I have to say, though, that my portfolio is stacked as a result of this campaign, so something good will definitely come out of it.

I'd been really looking forward to a nice, long trip home when all this is done. But unfortunately because of the new nanny gig, I'll only be in the Mitten next weekend. I'm still going to try to make the rounds in G Rap, but don't think my Mount Pleasant trip will be happening. Major bummer. But, I promise to make it up there before this year is over...perhaps the weekend before finals? Perhaps for Reggae? Let's make plans.

As always, the Windy City is a wonderful place for a quick trip, so if you're thinking about making one, let me know. I love company, and with all this free time I'm bound to have when I'm not working 24 hours a day...I'd love to show you around.

Sunrise, sunset.

As some of you may know, the past couple months have not been easy on me. The Big Girl Job has been tough in ways I was unprepared for, and I’m learning that from here on out, I’m going to need to be my own cheerleader and figure out ways to cope—on my own—with situations I don’t like or don’t feel comfortable in.

Aside from locking myself in a secluded office with my headphones jammed deep into my ears, I’ve come up with a few new coping mechanisms that have made the last few weeks bearable, one of which involved a simple rerouting of my commute.

As a daughter of Michigan, water plays a role in some of my most prominent life experiences. I remember shuffling through sea grass on Lake Huron, learning to water ski on Chippewa Lake, and having my first kiss with a lifeguard on the Au Sable River. Michigan waters run through me, and I feel most at ease at the end of my family’s dock, toes dipped into Chippewa.

When I moved to Chicago, I was obsessed with the idea of spending a day on the beach, gazing to the horizon and experiencing Lake Michigan from the other side. When I finally made it happen, I was unimpressed with the oversized palm trees, grimy foam buildup and lack of seashells. This wasn’t the Lake Michigan I know.

Last week, a wrong turn brought me back to the lake, and as I looked out to its icy caps and snowy shore, it didn’t look all that different from home.

I started taking this roundabout way to work. Rather then going deeper in to the city before heading north, I loop around to Lake Shore Drive, and follow the shoreline up to Evanston then back inland. I breathe easier when I take this way. It relaxes me, and makes me feel a little more at home.

The homes in that part of Evanston are spectacular. For my G Rap friends—think East on steroids. Turn-of-the-century mansions line tree-canopied streets, monoliths rising out of concrete, backs turned to the lake.

I noticed a few days ago the difference between the towns along Michigan’s west coast, and Evanston: Evanston doesn’t revolve around Lake Michigan.

Towns like Grand Haven, Holland, Pentwater and Traverse City pay constant homage to Michigan’s watery namesake, with homes peering delicately into the water, building up into dunes to get a better look. Homes seem constantly sandy, in a refreshing summery way…like the prickle of a suntan that lasts all year long.

Evanstonians, though, don’t seem to pay much mind to their aquatic border. Not like Michiganders, who wander the shoreline year round.

Maybe that’s what I enjoy so much about mornings these days—the drive to work seems private and quiet and peaceful. Like finding something I’d lost in the move. Even though I’m counting the hours until next Tuesday, I think I’ll make that trek along the shore routine, because now it’s time to make some new memories on Lake Michigan, only this time, from the sunrise side.  

Just keeps getting better.

Happy New Year!!! 2009 was an amazing year, and I have to say, I'm a little sad to see it go. Still, I can't help but keep the faith that 2010 will be even better, with fewer changes and a little more settling in.

It's been a crazy couple of months. Work keeps me insanely busy, and I've missed communing with my city as of late. However, thanks for a few good friends, I've managed to have a little fun.

A few weeks ago, I spent an evening in Capone's Chicago. The Green Mill Lounge looks like it hasn't been renovated since it opened in the 1920s. Art deco murals, life-sized statues, strong drinks and great jazz sent me time traveling back to a time of suicide doors, fedora hats and flapper dresses. The music was amazing. About a dozen men took turns playing, swapping combos and tapping out beats. They play until 5 a.m. at the Green Mill, and I could easily have sat listening until then, but a quick cab ride catapulted me back to this century and home.

I've finally made some headway decorating my apartment! I've rearranged my living and bed rooms, and emptied out my den for Ryan to move in with me! He found a job in the city, and needs a place to crash for a bit, and I couldn't be more excited for him to stay with me. It also was the perfect motivator to get everything settled that's fallen to the wayside.

Mostly, it'll be nice to have someone around when I get home from a crazy day at work. It gets a little lonely being by myself most of the time, but I'm getting pretty used to it.

Switching back to work...I had a great day today! I organized an event way north of the city, and we had a great turnout. I was really pleased with how everything unfolded, and am looking forward to seeing if we get any media coverage about it this week.

I just want to give a quick little shout out to Kim, Kath and Lola right now, because they got me the sweetest thing last week while on vacation (without me, might I add. Thanks, Big Kid World). It's a candle in a really pretty jar that has a great quote on it:

"She packed up her potential and all she had learned, grabbed a cute pair of shoes and headed out to change a few things."

I feel like it's pretty fitting for me...as did the fam. They know me so well. I've gotta say, that with as tough as things get being on my own and working a bazillion hours a week, I've made myself pretty proud getting my life started here.

Speaking of making me proud, can I just say how great this month is going to be for so many of my friends? Ryan starts his job, Elwood starts student teaching, AJ is movin' on up to NYC, Garret got great news about a fellowship at the Arizona Republic, and Brookie is heading to Denver tomorrow to start her Big Kid life! I'm so excited for everyone...and I have a good feeling 2010 is going to be a good year!

Well, it's been a while since I've updated, but it's a short post, I know. I don't do much besides work these days. Once February 3 rolls around, though, that'll all change. I'll get back to being Miss Social Butterfly, then will hopefully have many more experiences to share...so stay tuned!

Happy 6 month anniversary to Chicago and I!

SIX MONTHS!

Well, technically, it’s been six months and two days since I moved to Chicago. I finally know my way around the city pretty well, I don’t run on and off the train in fear of being crushed by the doors, I have a few bars I frequent, I keep my apartment clean and I have a job. Yup, feels like the Big Kid World to me!

Things here are going very well. I think I’ve hit a pretty good stride, and I’m really looking forward to the next few months.

As I walked home from the el last night, I thought back to when I moved here. Everything was new and exciting, and of course I was scared shitless. But the city doesn’t seem scary anymore. My breath still catches when I see the skyline glittering late at night, though, and I can’t get enough of wandering up and down the streets in Lakeview.

I’m looking forward to getting downtown soon to see the lights, then celebrate St. Patrick’s Day by watching them dye the river green. There is so much still for me to do and experience...luckily for me, my lease isn’t up for 9 more months!

I’ve been contacted by a couple of papers for reporting jobs…isn’t that always how it goes? I was frantically searching for months, and once I got a job, I get contacted for more! Go figure. Lake Placid was more alluring than this one…a daily in rural Northern Idaho. No thanks on the potato front. However, if any of my writing friends are interested, I’ll gladly send you the editor’s name!

As I mentioned in my last post, my new job keeps me insanely busy. However, if you want to plan a trip to the Windy City, there is always a place for you to stay!

The Big-Girl Job falls into place.

To say my life has been busy as of late would be an understatement. But I have a few minutes of downtime at work, so I thought I would post a quick update about life here in the Windy City.

For those of you who read the first paragraph carefully, you probably realize that I am employed! Finally! The hours are brutal, but nothing worse than I endured working for the baseball team, and I don’t have to wear a chicken costume.

Actually, I am working 7 days a week now, about 12-15 hours each day. But there is hardly any down time, so I’m constantly on an adrenaline high. Already, I’ve learned so much and gotten to take on some cool projects, so I’m a pretty happy camper.

Of course, 2 days after getting this job, I got a call from a paper out in Lake Placid, New York interested in interviewing me for an adventure-writing job. It sounds like it’d be right up my alley, but I have to say I’m content with where I’m at.

I’m also getting to write quite a bit, which makes me very happy.

Chicago still is treating me well. This is not where I’d like to stay forever, though. It’s become clear that I prefer being a big fish in a small pond, or a big fish in a big pond (haha), rather than kind of lost in the stream. It’s strange to walk down the street and pass 100 people who don’t make eye contact, smile, nod or say ‘hello.’ For anyone who used to chat with me on the phone while I trotted across CMU’s campus, greeting every person I came across, you know that this is odd for me.

For now, though, I still enjoy taking the train and watching the skyline flicker at night. There is something really beautiful about Chicago, and I am thrilled to make this my first home in the Big Kid World.

I’ve been doing some dating here and there, of course. I met a dude on a train…who’s shocked? Haha…didn’t work out. I went out with another guy who proceeded to be nothing but be rude to our cab driver. It was totally awkward, and I’m not quite sure what he was trying to prove…hm. That didn’t go anywhere either, clearly. There’s no need to be mean to cabbies!

I also learned a valuable lesson along the lines of not shitting where I eat. That’s another story that’s not suitable for the blogosphere, though, because I’m not the asshole in the situation. Too much? Oh well, recent events make me think I’m justified.

I’m really looking forward to Thanksgiving, although my vacation home will be cut short because of work. It will be nice to have a little break, and get my car back! Jerry the Jeep and I reunited once again! My office is in the suburbs, and it’s nearly impossible to get to by public transit. So the lady in the purple Jeep cruising around Illinois…yup, that’s me. Well, will be in 2 weeks.

I think that’s about it for now! Of course, I’m probably leaving things out, but I need to get back to work. Gosh, I’m so official.